goodbye grey skies hello blue!

Well, not literally as what the title says. cause lancaster is always raining! but yeap! emo moment gone right on the very next day!!! Alhamdulillah. I hate being all so emo. ANYWAY, i received 3 parcels on the very next day!!! i just repeated "the very next day" twice. make it 3 including the one i just wrote. :P i was well happy when i saw my name on the list at the porter's lodge! i hardly get any parcels so like to get one (in this case 3) was like OOoooOo!!!! AHAHHAHA. well i knew i was gonna get some parcels going on but not at the same time! so it got me all hyped up! hehehe. One was from my parents! woot woot! :D one was frm Amazon! (but buku account.. booooo :P) and the other was from DELL!!! the dell one really got me. i really thought i would be getting back my netbook next week! i didn't realise that it had the cellotape saying dell on one of the sides u see. i opened it and it had this big air bag going on and i saw something green inside it. i was like.. WHAT IS THIS?! then i took it out and i went "AAAaaAA!!!" ahahaha. yea, gave a little scream of joy. i hope nothing goes wrong with it now. :)

must take very good care of my new lappy now. i shall call it.. Little Jade.

Oh, i still haven't talked about my Paris trip yea. will do that once i get pictures from my fren. :P V-day is just around the corner!! JUST RIGHT AROUND THERE. and Chinese New Year falls on the same day! dong dong dong chang! This year's V-day, i had invited my girlfrens to come over for dinner :) am cooking! :D lalalalalala. i can't wait! Every year i would do something on V-day. it's just fun! spreading a little bit of love aiiiight!

Oh, i did a presentation on the QSR industry just now. glad it's over n done with! now i can concentrate on other stuff. but anyway, gosh, everytime i practice my presentation, i get all hungry! it was on Burger King, Pizza Hut, Subway and what not.. dang! but yea i think we did well just now :) I THINK we did. hehehe.

am gonna give myself a break for tonight, and tomorrow night and also the night after that. HAHAHA every night this weekend i've got plans. busy busy. :) better plan my days yo! toodles for now!

Dear blog....

Dear blog, i'd never thought i would write this, selfish of me to feel this way

But

sometimes i feel that i value my friends too much. It hurts me that they don't value me as much. I don't blame them. Definitely NO.

But

sometimes i just wish they don't just assume things about me. assume things that i like, what i don't like. assume that i'm not interested in going. things that i've said, one can change their mind can't they?

Sometimes i wish they would value me as much. Some of them never invite me for anything. They don't see it as a big deal.

But

to me, yes it is. that's just me.

Sometimes i even feel that some of them don't really like me. I'm just a person for them to talk to. that's it. not a friend. Sometimes they don't even talk to me about other things. It's just on one thing. I feel dumb when that happens. I know other things too. Even if i don't i can learn, they can explain to me.

Friends whom i've never seen for a long time or been in contact is different, but it hurts more when they are my close friends.

I guess i view the word 'friend' in a different picture than them. i never like to see my friends sad. I feel guilty when i see them sad and unhappy. Why wasn't i there. Why are they sad? I'm always there to cheer them up. I know i'm not obliged to, but i'm their friend, and i think that's what friends are for.

Cliche as it may seem but "A friend in need, is a friend indeed".

Most of them never realise when i'm sad. Never. well maybe because i don't like to show it to them.

Most of my friends had never seen me cry (except my chaletmates & chalet neighbours). I never like people to see me get all teary. I have a thing for bottling up all these negative feelings inside me and when i do let it all out.. it really makes me depressed. It happens sometimes. Those who i can be manja with and not be judged are far away from me. Living in different states, we still do keep in touch but hard to see them in person anymore.

I never hated a friend, not now not ever. i love my friends (besides my family and god), ALL of them, no matter where they come from, how they look like, whatever their IQ level is, whatever! they are my friends. they are the ones who make me happy, whom i can laugh with, share my stressness, my drama life with but just sometimes...

this feeling.. all this that i just poured out to you dear blog, it'll pass. It'll go away very soon. I don't keep sadness in me for long. It is not healthy for me. :)

"Have friends not for the sake or receiving, but of giving"

-anonymous-

Another one of soraya's emo moments here.. huhu.